matchguru

2008-11-05T11:41:00.003-05:00

from a fellow match.com-er

2006-03-26T14:45:00.000-05:00

Richard, Thanks for your e-mail and I hope you don't mind my posting it.

Let me know if you do and I'll take it off.

Recently I got an email from an apparently transgender shemale with the screen name of Velvet_Tango. I think he/she is still on Match.com under the red wig and behind the lipstick and holding a provocative pose. Not very encouraging, to say the least, considering I just got dumped by a real woman that I had met on Match. I then got another email from a 6 foot 200 pound “woman” in Maryland. He/she is sporting a blond wig and may have been a linebacker for the Philadelphia Eagles prior to the reassignment surgery. He/she sent me her/his phone number. These people waste no time! I got an email (or was it a wink?) from a woman in CHINA! I replied to her saying if she’s ever in Hartford to drop me a line. I’ve gotten emails from women who are utterly devoid of spelling and grammar skills not to mention the simple task of taking “Caps Lock” off so that it doesn’t appear that she’s SCREAMING !!!!

In all fairness I’ve gotten admiring looks from women because of my profile dialogue, but they are short, fat and not particularly attractive or have no photo which is really saying to the world “I’m too ugly to dare post my photo online”. Or, if they appear to be decent are way too far away to ever have any hope of a relationship; residing in Maine, Virginia, Massachusetts, Vermont, Texas, etc.
I have the 20/20 rule for dating anyone: No more than 20 miles or 20 minutes. There isn’t a mortal female on the planet, with the exception of maybe Angelina Jolie (but she appears to be busy at the moment and won’t answer my calls), who is worth the aggravation and energy required to commute beyond those limits. Especially considering the price of petrol these days I may revise my parameters downward to 10/10 and not worry if anyone noteworthy fails to beep on my radar. At my age I’d rather ride a motorcycle than fuss with all that is involved in courting someone who may turn out to be just like all the other skanks on line.

I see there’s an internet site for women titled “Don’t Date Him, Girl” where spurned and cheated on females can vent their venom. I await anxiously the version available for men to do the same. I have pictures!

Cheers!

Richard

a great contribution from a blog-a-holic

2006-03-04T09:28:00.000-05:00

I Have Something to Add: Hello, My Name is Cheryl, and I'm a Blog-a-Holic

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if there is one flaw in women..
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH...

and a flaw of many men is that we forget to remind them.

An exercise, seemingly, in futility, but fun nonetheless

2006-03-04T09:09:00.000-05:00

I thought I would liven things up around here a bit....Whatever you do...don't push the red button!!!

Here's another gem

2006-03-04T08:20:00.000-05:00

Hi I am mary Single lady seeking for the right person, thanks for contacting me (WAIT, I DIDN'T CONTACT YOU), I'd like to start by saying i am cute open mind honest (INTERESTING ADJECTIVE, OR IS THAT ADJECTIVES?), i have a wonderful sence of honour (SENCE (SIC) OF HONOUR? OR SENCE OF HUMOUR? KIND OF HARD TO TELL BY YOUR SPELLING) and i do not take my self too serious (HOW BOUT YOUR OTHER, DO YOU TAKE THAT TOO SERIOUS? WELL AT LEAST YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL "TOO"), I most confess when i went through your profile (I GUESS THAT'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO CONFESS MOST) it seem we have alot of common...I'm looking for serious relationship.. Just that my heart is on fire at the moment. I find it diffecult to fall in love again.Can you imagine kind of bullshit i end up in.. Have been stranded over two weeks and some few days now in hell western part of africa .. and i will not like u to blame me for that..cos i need love.. and i will like u to mail me back as soon as possible.....mail back to my personal box mary_cole_1@yahoo.com. SO ANYONE FEELING PARTICULAR HELPFUL, FEEL FREE SEND "MARY" EMAIL OFFER HER FEW THOUSAND BUCK TO FLY BACK COLORADO, OKAY???

SO, OKAY, I'LL HUMOR THIS MATCH.COM SCAMMER WITH SOMETHING LIKE ......

SURE THING BABE. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND WE DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. YOU'RE STRANDED? THAT MUST BE AWFUL! CAN I HELP IN ANY WAY? I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF ANY HELL YOU ARE IN. MAYBE YOU COULD FLY TO HARTFORD AND I COULD PICK YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT AND HELP YOU GET BACK TO THE UNITED STATES. LET ME KNOW WHAT I CAN DO, OKAY? HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Air-troductions.com

2006-03-01T07:13:00.000-05:00

Here's a unique approach. Airtroductions.com is a service run by a public relations professional who claims she can help you talk to people you might be interested in while you're on a flight somewhere. The service costs $19.95 a month or $5 per flight. Good luck with this one. What's $5 anyway? Here's a brief NPR story about Airtroductions.com.

Is online dating just a numbers game?

2006-03-01T07:04:00.000-05:00

from PRWeb :::
A recent GMI Poll has revealed that users of online dating websites are not convinced that their fellow singletons are telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The global survey of 17,500 people in 18 countries has shown that 51% agree and 21% strongly agree that people are misrepresenting themselves on online dating websites. Even with these statistics people are still finding love on the Internet by playing a percentage game.

Man Looking For Companionship Falls Victim To Dating Scam

2006-03-01T06:55:00.000-05:00

Well, at least I'm not THIS bad off. I'd love to see the pictures this "gal" sent this guy.
She kept asking for cash, and he kept sending it, on the promise that Oladele was coming to Milwaukee to be with him. She would even call him and leave phone messages.

I am the mother of two horrible children

2006-02-27T06:32:00.000-05:00

That's something you never see in a personal ad. They're always "wonderful" children.

nice anti-valentine's day site

2006-02-26T17:45:00.000-05:00

Nice site with an option to send nice anti-valentines days cards to those you love, or those you would love, or those you would have loved, or those you've loved and lost, or, well, you get the idea.

e.e.cummings

2006-02-26T17:38:00.000-05:00

Noone's love

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.
Women and men (both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain
children guessed (but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more
when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her
someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then) they
said their nevers they slept their dream
stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)
one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was
all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.
Women and men (both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

'No sex please, we're too busy'

2006-02-26T17:30:00.000-05:00

Modern women have little free time, say researchers

Today's women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts, say researchers.

Experts in the United States believe the demands of modern life are to blame - leaving women with little time or energy.

Fifty years ago, most women were stay-at-home mums with more free time. Few had jobs and television sets were rare.

The story continues with one comment from a reader that went something like this: "The only competition for sex is sleeping and eating."

From last year

2006-02-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

Repeat after me:
Spring is coming.
Spring is coming.
Spring is coming....

Do you have the courtesy to answer my match.com email?

2006-02-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

What is it with people? Do they either not find you or themselves worthy to respond to an email that you sent them in response to their match.com profile?

I saw your profile and we just don't seem like we'd be a match. A match? What's a freaking match anyway? Two people who both make a certain amount of money. Two people who both like tattoos? Two people who both like to ski? Two people who both want to go on a cruise? Two people who both have something on their ass that looks like a tattoo? Two people who both have dogs or like dogs or like long hair or don't smoke or are quitting, or are tall, or like tall people, or have blonde hair and blue eyes, or are slender or "athletic and toned" or about average (yeah, we all know what that means), or drink socially, or are voyeurs or exhibitionists (no that's not a standard question on match.com), or are African-American or Indian, or are Christian or Buddhist, or have children, or want children, or are childish or addicts (those aren't questions either).

Let me tell you, if I met someone with large breasts, then just forget it, we're not a match. If I met someone who's over 46, forget it, we're not a match. I'm sorry, you have to born within a specific range of years in order to love me or for me to love you, unless you're a family member. And, no I'm not going to waste my time answering an email from someone who otherwise seems like a perfectly nice attractive person.

You mean you smoked cigarettes? FORGET IT!!!! I would never date anyone who didn't have enough respect for their body to not smoke. Hold on, let me go get another cup of coffee, or glass of wine.

You mean, you want someone who's honest and respectful? Forget it. I like to grab my dates by the hair and bend them over and do them from behind on the first date, even it it's simulated in the parking lot behind the 7-11 after I've been told, No, I don't think you need to get condoms for tonight, unless you're afraid of catching something from your cockatiel, cuz he's the only one who you're going to make flap his wings tonight, buddy!

Another great experience

2006-02-24T08:09:00.000-05:00

This is a page with some great advice for women, but certainly applicable to match users of the male persuasion as well.
Match.com Secret #1: Don't take the profiles too literally. Everone steals from everyone else.
Match.com Secret #2: most of the "honest" guys aren't.
Match.com Secret #3: if his profile is still up, dump him.
Match.com Secret #4: Get ready to get dumped. Abruptly.
Match.com Secret #5: All these handsome, tall men with good jobs, "looking for a serious relationship," get many, many letters each month.
Match.com Secret #6: There are some malicious guys out there.
Match.com Secret #7: Keep an archive of profiles.
Match.com Secret #8: The proof is not in the pudding – it's in the age range he's looking for.
Match.com Secret #9: Avoid guys who have userids like "singleguy4you" and such.
Match.com Secret #10: Read between the lines.
Match.com Secret #11: Ask what you need to know. Early.
Match.com Secret #13: Be wary if he asks too much about your appearance during your first phone conversation.
Match.com Secret #14: Ask about his membership.
Match.com Secret #15: They're looking to fall in love... a little.
Final Match.com Secret: They give you an extra month.

An interesting Match blog

2006-02-24T07:52:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if this is just an advertising medium for other match services, but here's an interesting comment from the top of the page anyway ::: I should be embarrassed to have had as long and unsuccessful experience with online dating as I have had, but I’m not, it’s just another channel to meet people and it seems every channel is as mundane as the next right now, or maybe I’m just getting jaded. Anyway, what has this got to do with customer experience?

Well, match.com has been pissing me off for some time, most recently with it’s mandate that you can’t be wearing sunglasses in your “main” picture. This is just an indication of match’s authoritarian view of its customers, you’d better listen “because match knows best”. Lot’s of guidelines, lots of bureaucracy, and everyone’s profile sounds the same as everyone else’s, I mean, who doesn’t like good food and watching movies. Somehow matches control over the “profile” creation process has stunted their customers creativity as opposed to enhanced, encouraged or motivated it.

A little bit of insight from The Ferrett

2006-02-15T23:11:00.000-05:00

A lot of people — particularly guys, but it happens to women, too — never actually see the person they're dating. The actual person they're making love to is hidden behind a shifting curtain of desires and hopes, spurred by a frantic desire to be In Love.

Pew study confusing to me

2006-02-15T23:01:00.000-05:00

Most young singles in America do not describe themselves as actively looking for romantic partners. Even those who are seeking relationships are not dating frequently. About half (49%) had been on no more than one date in the previous three months.

I think the fact that half had been on no more than one date in the previous three months doesn't mean they wouldn't like to meet a significant other. But studies are studies.

a glimmer of hope?

2006-02-15T22:52:00.000-05:00

Hello there - thanks for the email. I agree - it is definitely hard to tell very much from a simple little thing like a "profile". Which is why I decided to go for the less is more attitude. However, in life I strive for more of the more than the less. If you know what I mean.

Anyway, I have a bit a tough travel schedule until the week of the 27th. Perhaps you'd like to meet then or perhaps chat on the phone.

Honesty or shallowness?

2006-02-15T22:45:00.000-05:00

Hi: Just wanted to state my interest in this big game of life on Match.com. I'm not really looking for friends. I have plenty. Granted, you can't have too many, however, I work a lot and have kids to spend time with as well. When I have the time to spend with the friends I have or manage to squeeze in a call I do, but there is very little time left for them. I would like to add a significant other to my life. A permenent person. That person needs to fit certain criteria. Your profile indicated that you're not the match for me. Too much not in common. I also have to admit that, yes, I'm looking for someone who physically lives up to my expectations. The men I have dated, be it short or long term have all been relitively good looking and either much younger or young looking. Sorry to say. More the "bad boy" kind of guys. You strike me as someone that needs to join a chess club. Im honest and straight forward. Thats how I see it. I'm sure there's someone out there that fits, but it isn't me.

Now, this person is going to find her knight in shining arm candy for sure. Especially since she 1) doesn't have time for friends, 2) hardly has time to make a phone call to a friend, and 3) can judge a book very well by its cover!

Another, this one from Kazan, Russia

2006-02-15T22:40:00.000-05:00

And this one. Can anyone even attempt a good explanation???

Hello my new friend!!!!!
My name is Ekaterina Ishkova! I am 28 years old. I live in Russia in the city Kazan.
I saw your profile and decided to write you because I like you very much. I am an interesting, beautiful, kind and single young lady. I want to find my love, my half and want to marry him. I am looking for a man who will fall in love with me and I will fall in love with him. I have never been married but I dream about it. I am fond of children and I dream about a happy family with the beloved man.
I am interested in music, cooking, reading, traveling and others. I know English very good and can easily speak it because I work as a teacher of English at school. If you are interested in me please write me on my e-mail "someone"@rambler.ru
Please write me and I will send you my photos. I wait for your letter very much.
Ekaterina.

from a wink

2006-02-15T22:37:00.000-05:00

She supposedly lives in Geneve, Switzerland. She winked at ME and I wrote her something in Swiss-German that I know. This was "her" response. What's with this? You tell me!

Hello My Dear,
I wish you could write back what you just wrote to me in english again. How are you doing tonight? Quess all is well with you as well as your health and work. Like you read from my profile, you are going to get to know me much more of you continue to communicate with me. I am always ready to answer to any of your questions. Am still here waiting for you

This is a great tutorial

2006-02-15T19:58:00.000-05:00

This is a great tutorial on dating a geek.

Here's a great one on why NOT to date a geek.

And for the girls, 11 reasons why to date a female geek.

Yet another interesting response

2006-02-13T13:52:00.000-05:00

This after two e-mails, one following up on a first I didn't hear back from.

"Hi, I'm sorry I havent been on here I was sick.. I've already found someone on here.. Good luck though..."

Another interesting part of it, was that the prefix of the e-mail was "justnick29"

Now, I'm not a man looking for a man. I'm a man looking for a woman. Last I knew, Nick was a man's name. What's that doing as part of any of my Match correspondences, I'm not sure.

Sent: Sun, 12 Feb 2006 21:32:01 -0600
Subject: Love@AOL by Match.com

Here's another gem

2006-02-13T06:07:00.000-05:00

My chemistry is not fond of blondes or red heads. I am only physically attracted to dark haired individuals.

Is this not one of the shallowest things you've ever heard?

Here's "her" profile, which says "my date's hair color -- Any." This is also a profle that has been on match for as long as I can remember trying the service, which is at least two years ago.

SHE SENT 1 EMAIL, YOU SENT HER 3 EMAILS (a typical record)

Looking for someone REAL...
Do you match?

38-year-old woman
New Britain, Connecticut, United States
seeking men 35-42
within 50 miles of New Britain, Connecticut
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: None
Want kids: Definitely (2)
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: About average
Height: 5'3" (160.0cms)
Religion: Christian / Catholic
Smoke: Occasionally
Drink: I don't drink alcohol
About me and what I'm looking for

I really like to do just about anything. My main interests vary from sewing to watching football, going out with friends, sports, creating projects around my house. I can go from being comfortable in sweats and a t-shirt to just as comfortable in a cocktail dress and heels. I love to have fun and laugh- always ready to do something. I like staying home cuddling watching a movie, ordering in, to going out for a nice dinner and whatever happens to come our way. Basically, I am a down to earth person, who enjoys life. I was brought up with traditional values and still believe in them.

My ideal match...I'm begining to think he hasn't been born. I do know he needs to be happy with himself, successful in work and life in general. He needs to know the meaning of values, morals and a one woman man. He needs to be active, spontaneous and enjoy daily life. If you think drinking every weekend is drinking occassionally..then you are not him.

About my life
Hair: Dark brown
Eyes: Brown
Best feature: No Answer
Body art: Strategically placed tattoo
Sports and exercise: Baseball,
Billiards / Pool,
Cycling,
Football,
Hockey,
Other types of exercise,
Soccer,
Volleyball,
Walking / Hiking,
Weights / Machines,
Yoga,
Aerobics
Exercise habits: Exercise 3-4 times per week
Daily diet: Meat and potatoes,
Keep it healthy
Interests: No Answer
Education: Bachelors degree
Occupation: Sales / Marketing
Income: No Answer
Languages: English
Politics: Middle of the Road
Sign: Libra
My place: Live alone
Pets I have: Cats
Pets I like: Dogs

About my date
Hair: Any
Eyes: Any
Height: 5’ 9" (175.0 cms) to
6’ 4" (193.0 cms)
Body type: A few extra pounds,
About average,
Athletic and toned,
Slender
Languages: English
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Faith: Any
Education: Any
Job: Any
Income: $50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
Smoke: No Way,
Occasionally
Drink: maybe one or two,
Social drinker,
I don't drink alcohol
Relationships: Divorced,
Widowed,
Never Married
Have kids: Any
Want kids: Definitely,
Someday
Turn-ons: Boldness / Assertiveness,
Brainiacs,
Candlelight,
Dancing,
Erotica,
Flirting,
Money,
Power,
Sarcasm,
Thrills,
Skinny dipping
Turn-offs: Body piercings

This was my response:

Thanks for responding. You have to admit that not only does your profile state your date's hair color as "any" but that this statement "My chemistry is not fond of blondes or red heads. I am only physically attracted to dark haired individuals," is not only one of the most shallow things thats' ever been uttered, but it is also one of the most ridiculous statements you've ever heard, isn't it?

That's very funny. Talk about rolling on the floor laughing.

And HOW LONG have you been on match??? Looking for someone REAL? no less. Oh Yes, and I'm sure you're a real person. Let's see, I wonder what match would say to a subpoena of your records if a judge thought your info a bit far fetched! LOL.

Thanks again for your thoughtful response.

It should help me a lot.

I'm dying to see how long match.com keeps me around without offering to boot me and give me a full refund.

thanks but no thanks

2006-02-12T18:37:00.000-05:00

ONE MATCH USER says: Thanks for writing to me, but I have decided to take a break from dating for now.
I guess this is one of the canned answers that Match gives its users to use when they're not interested in someone. It's a great thing to get after a thoughtful email to someone you think you have a lot in common with and who might feel the same way about you. Maybe this is one of the fake profiles that are mentioned in the match.com lawsuit. I wonder if many other users have received similar emails.
It's also an interesting response when you see day after day that the "user" has been active in their Match.com account within the last 24 hours.

Welcome

2006-02-12T17:06:00.000-05:00

Welcome. This site is dedicated to all those who have something to share about their experiences with Match.com. We will not tolerate posts that seek to unfairly denigrate or otherwise harm match.com or other users of match.com.

I would have named it matchdotcom, but that URL in blogger.com is curiously already taken and includes nothing but links to online "dating" sites.

I'm a 42-year-old single male living in central Connecticut and currently working in New Haven.

I feel I have had my go-around with match.com. I have never filed any complaints, but when I heard about the lawsuit I thought I'd go back to the service, pay my three-month membership fee and see what happened. It's been one week. I've sent 125 e-mails, some of them probing the issue of the lawsuit and whether some profiles are fake, others introducing myself to some fellow "users" because I found something in their profiles interesting, in common with me, attractive, provocative, or any number of other things.
I have received 25 e-mails in return. I have spoken with two people on the phone and I have met one person who, while we had talked about being friends and how much we had in common and how easy it would be to be friends whether there was "chemistry" in our meeting or not ("chemistry" meaning physical or sexual attraction).
There apparently was no "chemistry" as she put it, and in an email in response to an email of mine saying the meeting was pleasant, she wished me luck and sent me on my proverbial merry way.
The other person I have spoken to on the phone is in the same industry as I am, is ten years younger than I, told me some horror stories about dates and fellow match users she has communicated with via email.
I have heard several horror stories actually from fellow users who do seem to be authentic single women who are using match troll the sea of singularity for potential fish. These stories have led me to believe that up to 60% of the men on match.com are cheating on either their wives or girlfriends. They have also led me to believe that the majority of men using match have "only one thing on their minds," and we all know what that is. For many men, according to my correspondences, sex is the first thing they want to talk about, which would lead one to believe, that most of the men either aren't really looking for a relationship, or they don't know what the ingredients of a relationship are, or at least what the ingredients of the beginnings of a relationship are. Or, perhaps some of them have "gotten lucky" just finding sex.